The Host Review: Doubted (Ch 33)

This chapter review is going to be a lot shorter than the last one.  The last one was almost twice the length of the next longest one, so that won’t be that difficult, but mainly it’s because I’m still behind on these things and if they were all as long as that last one, on top of murdering someone, I’d never get caught back up…

This chapter starts off right where the last one left off, again.  She’s shouting for help trying to save the life of the man who just tried to kill her and who she kind of tried to kill as well.

Kyle’s legs are in the water at this point.  Remember that a few chapters from now when not even a day has passed and Kyle has no damage whatsoever despite his legs being suspended in rushing, boiling water that should be cooking his flesh right now.

Hungry

Ian shows up, but he’s alone and armed.  Because when someone screams for help, you stop to go find the gun, but don’t bother bringing the man who owns the gun, just in case.  Can’t just wake up the kid, send him to go get the gun and Jeb, then run to make sure she’s okay knowing the cavalry is on its way.  What the hell did he say to Jeb?  ‘Oh hey, I need your gun, Wanda was yelling for help.’ ‘Oh, okay, should I go with you?’ ‘Nah, I’m sure it’s fine.  She’s never even raised her voice before, but it’s probably nothing.’

I had my face pressed against the stone, my eyes toward the cave entrance. The light was bright overhead as the day dawned. I held my breath. My arms screamed.

Based on what happened in the last chapter (and given how much I wrote about it, trust me, I remember it well) her face being on the stone would be virtually impossible.  She hooked her arms under his shoulders and wrapped them around his chest to try and get a grip on him.  The only way she could accomplish that is if she was close enough to him that the only place her face could be would be resting on his shoulder, not the floor.  Either Meyer screwed up again or Wandanie is Stretch Armstrong.

This section also proves that it should have been pitch black the whole fight scene because they were not in a section of the cave where there even was light, but the light wasn’t even up for most of that scene so even if there had been a skylight in those rooms, there wouldn’t have been any light anyway.  So the fact that she could see what was going on is officially physically impossible.

 It took him two long seconds to process the scene that was so different from the one he’d been expecting–Kyle, trying to kill me. The scene that had been, just seconds ago.

Apparently Ian can see in the dark too.

cat-running-sideways-in-the-dark-night-vision-gif

Ian gets down on his stomach and ‘scuttles’ towards her.  Then it gets confusing again.

He assessed for another second, and then slid his body behind mine, pushing me closer to the rock. His arms were longer than mine. Even with me in the way, he was able to get his hands around his brother.

He slid his body behind hers, pushing her closer to the rock.  How is that physically possible?  From the description earlier, she’s on her stomach, one leg hooked around a stone pillar, her head and arms on Kyle, facing the crumbling floor.  If Ian came up behind her, pushing her forward, he would be pushing her AWAY from the rock pillar, towards Kyle and the water.

Also, if he was behind her, his arms would have to be the length of her entire body to do that.  So, by ‘behind her’ does she mean ‘on top of’?  Pushing her closer to the rock FLOOR?  That would make sense, but then it wouldn’t require his arms to be longer than hers.  Plus he would be crushing her.  I have no idea what’s going on here.

He pulled Kyle up against the rock, much more securely than I’d had him. The movement smashed my face into the pillar. The bad side, though–it couldn’t get much more scarred at this point.

…Why was her face against the pillar?  I thought it was against the floor.  I seriously have no fucking clue what the hell is going on!

what-the-fuck-is-going-on-gif

“I’m going to pull him to this side. Can you squeeze out?”

‘Squeeze out’?  Squeeze out of WHAT?  I’M SO CONFUSED!

Then I wriggled out from between Ian and the rock,

…But… Ian was BEHIND you… Is the rock the floor?  Are you talking about the floor?  And Ian is on top of you?  That’s the only way this makes even a LITTLE sense, and even then it really doesn’t make sense…  I still have no goddamn clue what the fuck is going on.

As she describes how Ian pulls his brother to safety she confirms that, no, the ‘rock’ is not the floor, it is the pillar.  The pillar she had her leg wrapped around, anchoring her as she reached out to grab Kyle.  She also says Ian has to pull him a few FEET to get him to the secure, non-crumbling section at the base of the pillar.  So she was somehow holding his brother with her arms wrapped under his shoulders, under his armpits and wrapped around his chest for leverage, while also still having her face pressed against the pillar a few feet away.  So she apparently really is Stretch Armstrong because that is the only way that that is even remotely possible.

882308-stretch-armstrong.gif

That does also indicate that several feet of the floor has crumbled away to nothing.  A room that was fairly important and most people navigated blindly via memory that would no longer be reliable since the entire floor plan has now been seriously altered and they don’t know how much of the floor that remains is even secure.  I would like to point out that we’re already told it’s light enough for people to be waking up and looking to go take a bath, and no one goes to warn anyone until there’s been plenty of time for the first few people getting up to have walked in, so I can only presume that a few people fell to their deaths in the rushing water and it just never comes up.  I am getting ahead of this chapter, but that’s okay, since this is really the last time it’ll come up without me shoehorning it in.

Well, tell him.

What will happen then?

You know what will happen. Kyle broke the rules. Jeb will shoot him, or they’ll kick him out. Maybe Ian will beat the snot out of him first. That would be fun to watch.

Melanie didn’t really mean it–I didn’t think so, anyway. She was just still mad at me for risking our lives to save our would-be murderer.

I would say she probably means it.  And she has every right to.  He just tried to brutally murder her, and you risked her life to save him.  Try and keep that in fucking mind would you Wanderer?  That you’re not just risking your life, you’re risking Melanie’s as well.  Something she has absolutely no control over and apparently no say as well, since you ignored all her advice as to how to save yourselves, you ignored her desire to leave the murderer to die, and you ignore her desire to see her attempted murderer get justice.  You have denied her any agency over her body, her interactions with her loved ones, her life… You value the life of the man who tried to kill you above the life of the person whose body you have cruelly invaded and taken over.

Exactly, I told her. And if they kick Kyle out for me… or kill him… I shuddered. Well, can’t you see how little sense that would make? He’s one of you.

SO IS MELANIE YOU FUCKING BITCH.  He tried to kill HER too!  He will try and kill HER again!  HE’S A FUCKING MURDERER.  You know what you don’t want in a small community struggling for survival?  Someone who could kill your allies with full knowledge of the consequences simply because he has a problem controlling his fucking anger!  He knew what he was doing.  He knew what he was risking.  He has to accept the consequences for his actions or undermine Jeb’s rule.  If you let him get away with breaking the laws ‘cuz he had a good reason you undermine the entire purpose of those laws.  If you think the law is unreasonable, you argue that point, you don’t lie about it and hope it just works itself out!  It’s not like he just stole some fucking snacks, he TRIED TO KILL YOU!  Someone who was not a direct threat to him or anyone else!  This was not a reaction.  This was not self defense.  He was going to straight up murder you because he fucking hates you.  THAT IS NOT SOMEONE YOU KEEP AROUND.  It is sure as fuck not someone you lie to protect!

what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you

We’ve got a life here, Wanda. You’re jeopardizing that.

It’s my life, too. And I’m… well, I’m me.

Here’s what she’s actually, not exaggerating, this is the only way to interpret this, saying with that statement:

Melanie: We have a life here!

Wanderer: Yes, we, as in me too.  And how I feel is the only thing that matters.  This is not up for discussion because I am the one with the motor control so I can veto everything you say and ignore everything you feel because I am the only one of us that matters, and you are horrible for suggesting I ever do something that makes me feel bad.

That’s what happens to.  That is the end of the ‘discussion’.  She immediately transitions to telling Ian that nothing happened.  The floor just randomly crumbled out from under them.

Of course Ian’s not dumb enough to believe her and calls her a bad liar.  I would like to point out at this point that this is the reason for the title of this chapter being ‘doubted’.  Not that someone thinks she’s not actually a good person, just that she gets caught lying.  That’s not being ‘doubted’, Meyer.  That’s being caught blatantly lying.  They’re not the same thing.

60873-Alison-Brie-yes-theres-a-diffe-MSnz

Apparently her nose and scalp are both bleeding.  I don’t recall her ever getting hit in the head, so I assume this must have happened one of the times he made her fall down, but it was never indicated in the last chapter that she hurt her head in any way shape or form.  Hitting her head (multiple times. Ian points out she’s bleeding from multiple places on her skull) would very likely have caused her to be fuzzy headed through the entire fight scene, which would have made it even harder for her to have done pretty much everything she did that I already described as impossible.  So somehow she’s actually making that scene that I spend 10 thousand words explaining how wrong it was, even worse.  That takes skill.

Ian glared at me for a long moment. The darkness of the tunnel muted the brilliance of his eyes.

Do his eyes glow in the dark or something?  How can she see them so well that they’re only ‘muted’?  And why the fuck do we care?  Oh right, love interest.  Of course.  Except she has shown absolutely zero sexual or romantic interest in him so far aside from the fact that Meyer keeps feeling the need to point out his eyes, lips, and how sweaty he is.  But none of these poorly shoehorned in mentions have given me even the slightest feeling that she actually has any feelings for him.  It’s made it painfully obvious that he is a love interest, because as I’ve said in the previous chapters, he is the only character that gets that much description (even Jared isn’t described as much) but it never comes across as her noticing because she’s interested.

She’s never made any indication that she has any desire at all to spend any more time around him.  She’s never indicated she has a desire to touch him.  In fact, when he’s touched her in the past it’s made her incredibly, unpleasantly, uncomfortable.  It actually confuses me how Meyer can write a character that seems to actually dislike the love interest, and yet she still presents him as being a legitimate love interest.  It’s not even Melanie that seems uncomfortable with him, Wanderer is. Without the peanut gallery weighing in.

peanutGallery

I got sidetracked.  I’m just really annoyed by how out of place all of these descriptions feel.  It’s like she didn’t intend him to be a love interest at first but then realized that Melanie and Wanderer are two different people so she should have a guy for Wanderer too.  ‘Oh, hey, she seems to spend a lot of time around Ian, let’s shove in some mentions about his eyes being pretty.  That’ll do it.’

Anyway, she tries to get him to take Kyle to the doctor, but Ian asks why she’s protecting someone who tried to kill her.  She says nothing in response, because that’s totally not an indication that he’s completely right, and he realizes that Kyle tried to shove her in the river.  He’s clearly a bit slow on the uptake.  He shoves Kyle away from him at this point, and I have many problems with this reaction.

Ian is dumb.  I’m going to start with that.  He came out with the gun, and it’s stated that he was expecting to find Kyle trying to kill her.  When he sees her trying to save him, he helps, and apparently Kyle ends up slumped onto him.  From there, he indicates multiple times that he knows Kyle tried to kill her.  He sees the blood pouring out of her goddamn skull for fucks sake.  And it’s not until he realizes that Kyle tried to drown her that he is mortified to be touching his brother?  And he doesn’t realize that Kyle tried to drown her until after talking to her for a while?  He doesn’t come to that conclusion when she says that Kyle and her weight near the edge of the water was too much?  You know, before he even saves Kyle?  At which point if he wanted Kyle dead for his actions he could have just shoved him forward?  Or if he can’t bring himself to do it himself, he could drag Kyle to safety then toss him to the side immediately?

His actions make no sense.  His reactions make no sense.  He’s more horrified by her being tossed in the river than her being beaten.  I don’t get it.

post-11357-I-don-t-get-it-At-all-5dWP

Ian pulls her into a hug that she only describes as feeling strange.  He talks about throwing Kyle back into the water to save them a tribunal, but of course she protests.

I tried to pull away from him, but he tightened his grip. It wasn’t frightening, not like the way Kyle had grabbed me. But it was upsetting–it threw me off balance.

And here we have yet another of many previous, and even more to come, example of Ian making Wanderer very uncomfortable.  He’s actively upsetting her by continuing to hug her.  More importantly, she’s  clearly indicating she wants him to let her go, and he’s ignoring her wishes.  I don’t understand why it seems to be so fucking hard for people to understand physical boundaries, and that when someone wants you to fuck off, you goddamn well fuck right the hell off!

“He knew what he was doing. He’s my brother, yes, but he did what he did, and you are… you are… my friend.”

“He did nothing. He is human,” I whispered. “This is his place, not mine.”

MELANIE IS HUMAN TOO YOU SELFISH BITCH!

Kendall-3-kendall-jenner-31880737-468-263_large

Also, this is incredibly selfish of her, not even considering Melanie.  She’s not thinking about how Kyle killing her would have affected Ian, Jeb, JAMIE, Jared, Doc, the background characters I forget the names of who support her presence… Kyle killing her directly affects their mental well-being, and therefore what Kyle did would have hurt them.  Not just her and Melanie.  Being human doesn’t mean he’s a part of their society.  He’s a criminal by their society’s laws, and their laws state that that requires him to be removed from their society.  She’s ignoring the affect his actions have on those around her, she’s ignoring their laws, all because being the cause of his death would make her feel like shit.

If she doesn’t want him to die, she could give them closure that he won’t do it again, allowing them to rest easy, by proposing that he be imprisoned instead of killed or cast out.  Or some other punishment.  But no, just lie.  Just ignore the fact that this will make other people constantly fearful that a murderer (he may not have succeeded, but he had the intent, therefore, mentally speaking, he is a murderer) is walking free among them.  Just ignore that you’re circumventing the laws of the society you claim to want to respect by leaving unchanged.  Let their society exist as it is, laws and punishments included.  By letting him get off scott free she’s basically saying ‘yeah, it’s fine, try and kill me all you want because there will be no consequences at all, because my desire to not cause your death is more important than everyone else’s ability to feel secure in their own home, leaving them constantly on high alert for his inevitable next attempt.’

“We’re not having this discussion again. Your definition of human is not the same as mine. To you, it means something… negative. To me, it’s a compliment–and by my definition, you are and he isn’t. Not after this.”

This is actually the first time she hasn’t used ‘human’ as a derogatory remark.  And as far as I know she’s never used ‘human’ as a derogatory statement to any of the actual humans.  So apparently Ian is aware of her inner dialogues.  I assume he can do that for the same reason that Wanderer can see in the dark and hear whispering far away when it’s plot convenient.  But I do actually like that he says that Kyle isn’t human.  He’s using ‘human’ in the more spiritual sense.  Someone’s ‘humanity’, generally references their empathy.  And Kyle has been shown to lack any, where Wanderer has at least given them reason to believe she feels it, even if her thoughts indicate otherwise.  So at least part of this statement is reasonable.

“Human isn’t a negative to me. I know you now. But Ian, he’s your brother .”

LIES.  I know for a fact you use ‘human’ as an insult again after this.  You fucking racist.

“A fact that shames me.”

No one talks like that.  No one.

91719582_o

He finally lets her go when she tries again to get free and his resistance hurts her injured leg.  Ian is a dick.  I hope Kyle punches him at some point.

We finally find out where the rock hit her.  It was the right leg, on the thigh just above the knee.  So if you want you can go back to the last chapter and see which outcome that fits in my little choose your own damage rant.  Ian starts checking her over, knowing exactly how to move her ankle to test for damage, and describing the damage to the thigh as a deep muscle bruise.  Is Ian a doctor now?  He seems to know enough that Doc would be entirely useless, since anything requiring more knowledge than that can’t be performed in the caves.  Whatever.

“I have to go find Doc anyway–or some help. I can’t carry Kyle that far, but I can certainly carry you. Oops–hold on.”

‘Oops’?  Oops.  Why oops?  What is there to ‘oops’ at?  This is not clearly explained.  I suspect he’s saying ‘oops, I forgot the gun’, but it’s not really clear.  I’m just guessing.

Ian came back with the gun. I frowned because this reminded me that I’d wished for it before. I didn’t like that.

You don’t like that you have an instinct for self-preservation?  Go fuck yourself you self-righteous hippy.

Simpsons hippy

Without thinking, he handed the gun to me. I let it fall into my open palms, but I couldn’t curl my hands around it. I decided it was a suitable punishment, to have to carry the thing.

She feels she has to be punished for having wanted Jeb to come save her when she was being murdered.  She feels the need to be PUNISHED for wanting to NOT DIE SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY.  Self-flagellation is not a positive trait.  This is not a sign of a saint.  This is a sign of a masochist.  A very self centered masochist.

Ian mocks the idea that anyone could ever be afraid of her since she can’t even hold the gun, but to be fair to Kyle, since honestly Ian comes off as a fucking creeper, she’s not a threat because of a potential for physical violence.  She’s a threat because she could very easily give away their location to the seeker that is clearly looking for her and get them all killed.  She is an alien parasite from another world and no matter how nice she comes off, they don’t know for certain what these aliens feel in terms of morality.  For all they know she could be some kind of high level infiltrator in their arsenal only used when there’s an obnoxious resistance.

Hell, since they are aliens from another world, she could have communication technology on her somewhere that’s transmitting this information to her superiors without them knowing so they can figure out more about the other possible sleeper cells of resisting humans.  She’s an ALIEN.  You don’t KNOW what she’s capable of, and her inability to punch you in the face by no means indicates she can’t hurt you at all.  Not to say he shouldn’t trust her, because he has no reason to believe she IS doing any of that either, just saying it’s not completely ridiculous for Kyle to still view her as a threat.  It IS unreasonable for Kyle to disobey the laws to try and take her out, but that’s a different moral debate.

She says that Ian picks her up easily.  I’m not sure if this is meant to convey that he’s incredibly strong or she’s incredibly light.  And yes, the answer to that does matter.  I still am not sure exactly how big Kyle is, but in order to get one of his hand securely around both of her wrists, Wandanie would have to be skin and bones, which would make her incredibly light, which would also affect the size of Kyle since she described him as twice her weight.  Basically what I’m saying here is that I still have no ability to picture what anyone looks like or how any of the last chapter worked at all.

cant-see-pics-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-2130

Ian keeps trying to get her to admit what happened by pointing out things that can’t be explained with her weak cover story like the fact that her clothes are wet and she’s missing a shoe.  Of course she could explain these by saying she had been having a bath and put her clothes on without drying off since she’s never once mentioned having a towel, and she lost the shoe while trying to get away from the crumbling floor.  But she explains the wet clothes with steam and doesn’t respond about the shoe at all, because she’s a shitty liar and too stupid to think quickly.

Apparently Ian’s eyes are sapphires.  Meyer just wanted you to know that.  Please refer to my earlier rants.

This is how I'm picturing Ian from now on.

This is how I’m picturing Ian from now on.

They run into Jeb about half way to the medical area, which means that despite that Ian went and got the gun from him, Jeb didn’t even head in that direction to make sure everything was fine, despite indicating that Ian had told him he suspected that Kyle was trying to kill Wanderer.  The only POSSIBLE reason to do this would be Meyer wanting to get Ian and Wanderer some alone time to try and give them some chemistry (which she massively failed to accomplish) because there is no way in hell that Ian would be the only person to hear and certainly not the only one to be concerned.  But that wouldn’t be plot convenient.  Especially considering Ian was sleeping heavy enough to not notice her in the room getting her clothes, so you would assume someone who wasn’t such a heavy sleeper would be the one to hear.

Seriously, any actual logical reason I can even consider for Jeb to have not gone running himself doesn’t make any sense.  It was too early in the morning for him to have been busy working (and even if he was, I would assume ‘life or death situation’ is a good enough reason to leave the crops unattended for a few minutes).  If he had to go to the bathroom he would have had to have passed right by them.  If he was too tired, he wouldn’t be up and about checking on them NOW!  The ONLY possible explanation is plot convenience.  And I’m really fucking sick of things happening in this book because the plot fucking requires it.

Here’s a pro tip; if you can’t make it work without making characters act against all logic and established characterization, don’t fucking do it.  It’s cheap.  It’s infuriating.  And it could have easily been worked around by having someone who was coming in for a bath or to use the latrine help her out and then having Ian confront her later, since it does involve his brother.  Or hell, have Ian having come without the gun and say he was on the way to use the bathroom anyway when he heard her yelling for help!  IT’S REALLY THAT FUCKING EASY!

Its-Easy

He didn’t even use the gun!  The ONLY purpose for him coming in with it is for her little bit of masochism regarding her ‘punishment’ for having wanted someone to come with it to save her life earlier!  Meyer is a TERRIBLE writer.  She puts no effort into characterization or plot, everything just happens exactly how it needs to to have Wanderer think what Meyer wants her to think.  And yet somehow despite setting up everything specifically to progress Wanderer’s inner dialogue, the woman STILL comes off as absolutely atrocious.  That’s a special kind of suck.

Anyway, Ian tells Jeb what happened, or at least Wanderer’s version of what happened.  He LAUGHS that she’s lying about what happened, because it’s not a big deal at all that Kyle tried to kill her, completely destroying a really important room in the process.  It’s HILARIOUS that by Jeb’s laws he’ll have to KILL Kyle now.  It’s downright jovial that Wanderer is so self-deprecating that she’ll lie about someone trying to murder her because she feels like a murderer has more of a right to exist than she does.  Hi-fucking-larious.

Why is this review so long?  Goddammit chapter, suck less so I can move the fuck on will you?

Jeb goes off to get some guys to help drag the still unconscious Kyle to the medical wing.  Kyle remains unconscious for an extended period of time.  I’m going to quote some information regarding comas:

When persons experience a brain injury, they can become unconscious. When the unconscious state is prolonged, it is termed a “coma”. Coma is defined as a state of unconsciousness from which the individual cannot be awakened, in which the individual responds minimally or not at all to stimuli, and initiates no voluntary activities. – See more at: http://www.brain-injury-law-center.com/practice-areas/coma.html#sthash.0Em6ks3f.dpuf

Kyle went unconscious when he struck his head.  He’s remained unconscious now for several minutes, and continues to be unconscious while Jeb goes and gets some people, gets him up, and gets him a significant distance to the medical wing, and then another unclear length of time after he’s placed on the cot.  He does not respond when Wanderer tries to wake him, he doesn’t respond to the stimuli of the boiling water cooking his legs, he doesn’t wake up when he’s dragged or lifted.  He’s in a coma.

Persons who sustain a severe brain injury and experience coma can make significant improvements, but are often left with permanent physical, cognitive, or behavioral impairments. – See more at: http://www.brain-injury-law-center.com/practice-areas/coma.html#sthash.0Em6ks3f.dpuf

Kyle suffers absolutely zero side effects of any of what’s happened.  He doesn’t even seem groggy when he finally does wake up later in this chapter.

epic fail

epic fail

After Jeb leaves to go get Kyle, Wanderer says Kyle could be serious injured and Jeb should hurry.  Because that’s totally helpful when he’s no longer within earshot.

Wanderer thinks about everything that’s happened over the last 24 hours (the last several chapters have only been one day remember).  Melanie pipes up talking about Jared again.  Because Jared is STILL the only thing that matters.  Not ‘I hope Kyle hit his head so hard he never wakes up so he can’t try and kill us again’.  Not ‘I hope no one blames us for what happened and people other than Kyle start to try and kill us.’  Not ‘I hope Jamie doesn’t get too upset and try and confront Kyle since Kyle could kill him’.  No, everything Melanie does or thinks has to revolve around Jared.

When Ian gets her to Doc, Doc actually gets ANNOYED that she’s injured and I can’t for the life of me figure out why.  He says ‘what NOW?’ as though Wanderer were some annoying hypochondriac who keeps wasting his time.

Ian tells her side of the story as sarcastically as possible making it obvious to anyone with two functioning brain cells that Kyle beat the shit out of her.  He lists off her injuries fairly clinically.  Doc looks her over and basically does the same things Ian already did, reminding me of what I said earlier that Ian’s knowledge in this scenario makes Doc pretty fucking useless, because there’s not a damn thing Doc can actually DO.

At this point I would like to bring up that Doc’s name probably isn’t Doc, and this is another character like Seeker who has a real name, but we will probably never actually learn it because people that are defined by their jobs, and Seeker and Doc are the only people with set jobs.  I’d bet if there was just one character that baked the bread they’d be referred to as ‘Baker’.

They talk about the fact that Kyle is being brought here and obviously can’t be trusted with Wanderer, so Ian is going to prepare somewhere else for her to be instead but she won’t leave because she wants to be with Walter.  Ian still wants to go get somewhere else ready for her (which never actually goes anywhere at all since she’s never moved, this is just another unnecessary ‘this character needs to leave the room because now Jared is the center of attention’) so he asks Jared if he can be trusted to take care of her and Jared gets pissed off at the implication, but Ian pretends that he’s only said that because if Jared doesn’t help keep Kyle under control Jeb will have to shoot him in front of Wanderer and that would upset her.  So fucking considerate.

Annoyed smoke

I don’t buy Ian’s intentions, but Jared does, so he assures him he’ll keep her safe.  Ian kisses her forehead before he leaves.  If you think this is a sweet gesture, I might be willing to concede that were it not for all the times in the past he’s forced physical contact on her against her wishes, including earlier in this very scene, and now he’s kissing her.  I might ignore this completely if I wasn’t so far behind on this reviews that Llama has already explained that this won’t be the last time he does this… Not to mention the fact that he’s doing this in front of Jared, who he knows full well is the boyfriend of the woman whose body he just kissed.  Which just kind of makes him a dickhead.

It takes 5 full grown men to carry Kyle into the med wing.  I have no fucking clue how big this bear of a man must be.  Especially since two of those men are described as being of a reasonable size themselves, and all of them should be physically fit given the farm labour.  If he’s only twice Wandanie’s size, either all of these guys are pathetically weak or Wandanie is closer to 150lbs than 100, putting Kyle at around 300lbs of dead weight (I know I keep bringing this up and you’ve probably all moved passed it by now, but it really bothers me because I cannot picture anything that’s happened in the last few chapters and it’s incredibly frustrating for me).  This suggests both that his weight alone should have been capable of crumbling that floor if it was that loose to begin with and that her wrists would likely be bigger than I was imagining and therefore even harder for Kyle to wrap just one hand around both, and to carry her like a piece of luggage under only one arm.  There’s a difference between being able to dead lift a large amount of weight and carrying the weight of someone who’s struggling against you.  As well, someone that large likely doesn’t have the best stamina either as it would, as I mentioned in the last review, it takes a LOT of fucking energy to maintain that much goddamn muscle.

Oh for fucks sake this review has gone on too long and I just keep rehashing the same ‘this makes no goddamn sense’ shit over and over again.  Summary of it all is that Meyer herself clearly has no fucking clue how big this guy is and just makes his size as plot convenient as she does everything else.

ryan-annoyed-o

It’s clarified that Kyle has been out for at least 20 minutes at this point.  Jeb dumps a bottle of water on Kyles face and that wakes him up.  A bottle of WATER wakes him up.  The boiling water cooking his feet didn’t wake him up.  Wanderer yelling at him didn’t wake him up.  Smacking him across rocks didn’t wake him up.  Ian tossing him off to the side in disgust did not wake him up.  Jeb and the four other guys lifting him up and carrying him through twisted cave passages, jostling him as they walked, didn’t fucking wake him up.  BUT A BOTTLE OF FUCKING WATER does it.  I’VE READ JUNIOR HIGH CREATIVE WRITING CLASS FICTION THAT WAS BETTER THAN THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Jared assures Kyle he’s safe while symbolically keeping his hand on Melanie’s cot (since let’s face it, he doesn’t give a shit about Wanderer) to assure her that he’s talking about her when he says it’s safe.  At least that’s how I assumed we were supposed to interpret that because I can’t think of any other reason for that set up.  Wanderer and Melanie get emo again about wanting to touch him and the chapter finally ends with Kyle bitching that she’s not dead, assuring everyone that Wanderer was lying through her teeth and confirming his guilt.

This chapter is terrible, this book is terrible, Meyer is a shitty writer, and I hope she never writes anything else.

Happy New Year!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s